Finding it hard to find!

So it's the beginning of January, a new year, and I'm finding it hard to find... Find what you might wonder, find myself, find happiness, find a purpose and find a path, find all what I have lost. I feel trapped and I feel powerless and because of these I feel angry!

I went home in England for two days for Christmas, I travelled by bus because they were the only time fitting options I had and I felt happy, I met old friends and old places, I embraced their reality and my feelings and memories with them. I momentarily found myself again but then I was lost when I returned to this grey, foreign city, that slowly withers my soul.

I am now looking forward to going home in Romania, to letting the snow cover my wounds and the warmth in my parent's "chemin" melt my worries. I am me again and I am free, as a lioness released from her cage and let to roam free on the plains of Africa. But this freedom won't last long, it will be only a short moment of sweet liberation before I am thrown back in the darkness and dampness of my cage, in my maddening and exhausting routine!

But I won't give up, I will push through and find my way! I will be myself again and stronger than I ever was, I will succeed!

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