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Alea iacta est

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 In life we take decisions that guide our actions. My actions so far have guided me to a place I didn't even imagine I would go to when I was young. I am not quite sure what I wanted to become as a little girl but I do hope I knew more about it than I do now. At the moment I have so many plans and I want to do so many things that I cannot possibly imagine settling on only one thing for the rest of my days.

However, I now know that in two months' time I will no longer be here, in the place I called home for the past 20 years or so, if I count my mum's pregnancy months as well. It is hard to imagine but I know that my decisions are the ones that have lead me onto this path and I also know that in life you must make sacrificies to succeed in finding you true self. I cannot say that I am not excited about living as a student in a new world, a new country, surrounded by millions of new experiences that it brings, because I am all giddy inside about it. 

Nevertheless, for the past year or so I have gone back and forth between Romania and England, journeys that have taken their toll on me and that made me realise how difficult it has become for me to leave one land for the other. I have returned for less than a week from my last visit to the UK and I can say it was painful when I left Romania and as painful when I left England. I do not know how to explain the feelings that I experience when I am in the airport preparing for my departure but I think that having to leave behind a part of my existence in both countries makes it both easier to move from one to another but also harder to leave my dear ones.

Now there is no turning back and I dread the flights that will follow in the next years but I have to admit that there is a bright side to all of it and that is that I have two countries where people I love and laugh with will always make me feel at home no matter how long I have been gone. As Caesar said and my latin teacher liked to paraphrase "Alea iacta est" ( "The die has been cast") meaning something inevitably will happen and that is I will move to the other side of the old continent.

Everything is possible if you make it possible.

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